you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
