Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
