I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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