Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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