with your own penis?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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