I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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