...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
