Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize