i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
