4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
