the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
