You're completely useless in the revolution.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
