I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
