I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
