i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
