It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
