there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
