with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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