I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
