he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
