obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
