you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
