names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
