There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
