Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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