I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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