I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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