it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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