So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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