Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
