Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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