I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
