So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
