I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
