Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
