I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
handjob tips. give me some.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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