Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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