it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
