his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
