that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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