We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
