i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
