she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
