i love accidental penises.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
is it fun? or sober?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
