Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
