Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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