Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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