if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
