Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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