ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
