we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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