How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
