Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
