you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
