If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
