Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
this hospital has no fireball
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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