Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
no you cant smoke seaweed
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
