You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
PANTIES FOUND
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