Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
