hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
