I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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